Communiques from the war zone...

Dear Riverbend...

I read your blog devotedly. I check up on it every day, in case you
have posted something while I was asleep, while I was at work, while I
was reading or writing or taking a walk. I have emailed you before, at
more than one address, I believe. I don't know if any of my messages
have got to you. It doesn't matter. You have more on your mind than
the emails of one woman so far removed from you, from your struggle,
and the struggles of your country.

I am not an American, but my country shares borders with the US. I am
from Canada, born and raised here. I want you to know that I believe
nothing they say. Nothing that liar and fascist Bush says, nor
anything the media spews from its disease ridden mouth. I am not the
only one. You and your cousin and brother (?) were wondering if
Americans truly believe the lies and propaganda their government
serves up to them. I can tell you that many do, maybe even most.
Because they want to. Not because they are too stupid to know any
better (though I admit, this is true in many cases) but because they
want to justify themselves for capitalizing on the misery of others,
their so-called "culture" built on the backs of people they will never
look at, never talk to.

Even Canada is like this, for all we pride ourselves in our
non-involvement in the "War on Terror". My opinion is that we should
be involved in this--in the *true* War on Terror. The one being waged
by the United States. The illegal occupation of your country, the
terrorizing of your people. We may not officially be involved, that
but that should in no way entitle us to a guilt-free sleep. We do
nothing while atrocities are being committed. We pride ourselves on
our history of swooping in to save the day when despots like Hitler
threatened world domination--but with Bush, we do nothing. We sit back
and shake our heads. We voice our opinions, send some aid through the
Red Cross, or some other organization, but what have we really done to
counteract what we know to be evil? Nothing. And I am sick to my soul.
I am ashamed and heartsick.

I am not writing this to you to seek some sort of absolution. I am not
asking you to alleviate my guilt, and my country's guilt by telling me
that what I am saying is enough. But I want you to know that we don't
all believe the lies we are told. We don't all wish to sleep in
blissful ignorance. We read and we talk and we sleep badly. I cannot
sleep well knowing that the lifestyle we are accustomed to comes at so
high a cost.

I don't understand why nothing is being done to truly aid the people
of Iraq. It is not enough to frown upon US "foreign policy", or to
turn the channel when the propaganda is too much. I don't know what to
do. I don't know anything.

This email is not going to help you. I am sorry for that. But I want
you to know that I think of you, of your people. And I know how little
that is, how paltry my offering. I am sorry. I am sorry. I hate this.
Many of us hate this. But most people see it as something removed from
them, something that happens somewhere far away and dusty with camels,
as you said. Though we have friends and lovers and schoolmates and
work mates who have loved ones in Iraq, and so we feel somehow that
this justifies our inertia, because we know Iraqi people, or have
Muslim friends. That this somehow excuses us from any implications we
might garner.

*Sigh*.

You and I are two humans on this planet. We live and breathe and think
and eat and love and sleep. That makes us the same. But somehow,
someone has decided that we are not the same. It makes no sense. To
me, you are my sister. But my experience is so vastly different from
yours, that I must feel connected to you across a vast chasm. I feel
the tug of your mind and heart to mine, however. I feel you out there
in the world, across the divide, your fury and your passion. I am
honoured and humbled just to be able to read your words. I want to say
this to you. That I respect and love you, another human, another heart
pumping despite everything pulling against it. I will keep reading
your journal. I will keep thinking of you. I know it is not enough.
But I hope that you read these words and feel me out here too. This is
what keeps us fighting. Keep fighting, keep writing. I know you will.

In love and respect and solidarity,
McKinley



Dear McKinley,

First of all- thank you for writing to me. You said your email will
not help me and in that you are wrong.

Emails like yours give me hope for the future and they renew my faith
during difficult times. It sometimes feels hopeless but words that so
obviously come from the heart as yours do, make me believe that no
matter what happens, there are people who know it is wrong. That makes
all the difference sometimes.

I know many Canadians and it the difference between you and your
American neighbors never fails to strike me. I'm grateful that many
Canadians seem to have a conscience. I know many Americans stood/stand
agains this war and occupation, but we are bombarded with so much hate
and so many lies from that part of the world that it sometimes becomes
hard to believe.

I hope to continue writing as long as there is something to write
about. I know I write less and less lately, but it sometimes feels
like I sound like a broken record- little electricity, little water,
no security... etc.

Thanks again for writing to me- your words are amazing. They make me
want to go on in spite of everything.

R.


Riverbend...

The record is not broken. The machine that traps it is. Let us be each
other's hope, then. You write, I will read. Know that I am thinking of
you always. Thank you for your words. I will not use them as
absolution, but as a hand and a heart in the dark. I will grasp for
it, even when life is at its darkest.

Tears prickle my eyes now. I wish I could send a hug over email, or
some extra electricity :-)

with respect,
McKinley

http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/

Please read it.